| Tuesday, July 12th, 2011 |
1:39 pm
[horshoo]
 |
Sex
I had sex with a part from an electric motor. But it's ok. I didn't have to pay - she was an armature. |
| Sunday, July 10th, 2011 |
7:17 pm
[horshoo]
|
Redneck motel
I think I'm staying in a redneck motel. I called the desk and said I got a leak in the sink. The desk clerk said, "Go ahead." |
| Tuesday, June 28th, 2011 |
12:35 am
[horshoo]
|
Weiner
Did you hear AOL suspended Anthony Weiner's email account? They said he never sent anything but junk mail. |
| Friday, April 22nd, 2011 |
9:44 pm
[awstuff4friends]
 |
|
| Tuesday, April 19th, 2011 |
3:30 pm
[horshoo]
 |
News Flash
Just heard a report on tv of a man exposing himself at Columbus Public Library. He must have come across a good book. |
| Saturday, October 23rd, 2010 |
5:35 pm
[horshoo]
|
Tips
I was in a bar and the barmaids were wearing tops that said, "Show me your tips." I got a visual of a line of guys rolling back their foreskins. |
| Thursday, July 9th, 2009 |
4:35 pm
[horshoo]
|
Uncouth
His gf called him uncouth. He wondered why. He drove a BMW, liked NPR and Cabernet, wore Armani. So he asked her, "What's this uncouth shit?" |
| Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 |
5:12 pm
[horshoo]
 |
test
It is better to have failed the Wassermann Test than never to have loved at all. |
| Thursday, June 25th, 2009 |
9:53 pm
[vorpalbla]
 |
Michael Jackson DOA
AP has confirmed that Michael Jackson has died at age 50. In accordance with his will, he will be laid to rest atop the grave of a 10-year-old boy. |
| Monday, June 15th, 2009 |
4:08 pm
[laffinman]
 |
|
| Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 |
10:54 pm
[vorpalbla]
|
|
| Saturday, April 11th, 2009 |
6:07 pm
[norajeans]
 |
|
| Wednesday, April 8th, 2009 |
6:39 pm
[horshoo]
|
Load
The wife goes out and leaves hubby to tend to the baby. When she comes back the place smells like crap. She yells at hubby: "Why didn't you change the baby? He has a full load in his diaper." Hubby: "No, he doesn't. It says right here on the diaper box, 'Up to 20 lbs'". |
| Monday, March 23rd, 2009 |
9:37 am
[missgiter]
 |
Ha...
Why do leprechauns laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their nuts. |
| Thursday, March 19th, 2009 |
10:09 pm
[vorpalbla]
|
|
| Saturday, March 14th, 2009 |
7:42 pm
[procrasturbator]
 |
Circle jerk jokes
1) An old-time ship's captain was showing his daughter around the ship. As they passed a cargo hold, the daughter looked down and saw a line of men, each buggering the ass of the guy in front of him. Aghast, she cried, "Daddy, do you allow that sort of thing to go on aboard your ship? "Harrumph!" and "Certainly not." bellowed the captain. "You there, bend that line around. Give that first man a chance!" 2) Q. What's the definition of a competitor? A. The guy who comes in first - and third - in a circle jerk. |
| Friday, January 23rd, 2009 |
9:18 am
[vorpalbla]
|
pubic hairs
Why are pubic hairs curly? ...because if they were straight, we'd all poke our eyes out! |
| Friday, January 16th, 2009 |
6:45 am
[vorpalbla]
|
Not super-dirty but I like it
When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?" "A penis," replied Madame deGaulle. A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer... and no one knew what to say next. Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, "Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, 'appiness!' |
| Monday, November 24th, 2008 |
6:57 pm
[horshoo]
|
Limerick
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a great new machine; Concave and convex, To fit either sex, And remarkably easy to clean! |
| Friday, November 21st, 2008 |
9:02 am
[vorpalbla]
|
How you get your name
Drunk Irishman in a pub, quiet all night, drinking himself half blind, finally stands up and yells, "I've painted a thousand houses... do they call me Charlie the House Painter? NO!" He points out the window toward the horizon. "I've climbed that mountain out there twice in my life... am I Charlie the Mountain Climber? No!" He pauses, holds up one finger, then yells... "But I fuck ONE goat!!!" |
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