Log in

No account? Create an account
Dirty Jokes' Journal
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dirty Jokes' LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Sunday, October 6th, 2013
8:21 pm
Fecal transplant
You can't say a fecal transplant donor doesn't give a shit.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013
10:01 pm
Carnival Triumph
Cruising on the Carnival Triumph is only for the effluent.
Wednesday, November 21st, 2012
7:39 pm
Tuesday, July 12th, 2011
1:39 pm
I had sex with a part from an electric motor. But it's ok. I didn't have to pay -
she was an armature.
Sunday, July 10th, 2011
7:17 pm
Redneck motel
I think I'm staying in a redneck motel. I called the desk and said I got a leak in the sink. The desk clerk said, "Go ahead."
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011
12:35 am
Did you hear AOL suspended Anthony Weiner's email account? They said he never sent anything but junk mail.
Friday, April 22nd, 2011
9:44 pm
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011
3:30 pm
News Flash
Just heard a report on tv of a man exposing himself at Columbus Public Library. He must have come across a good book.
Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
5:35 pm
I was in a bar and the barmaids were wearing tops that said, "Show me your tips." I got a visual of a line of guys rolling back their foreskins.
Thursday, July 9th, 2009
4:35 pm
His gf called him uncouth. He wondered why. He drove a BMW, liked NPR and Cabernet, wore Armani. So he asked her, "What's this uncouth shit?"
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
5:12 pm
It is better to have failed the Wassermann Test than never to have loved at all.
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
9:53 pm
Michael Jackson DOA
AP has confirmed that Michael Jackson has died at age 50.

In accordance with his will, he will be laid to rest atop the grave of a 10-year-old boy.
Monday, June 15th, 2009
4:08 pm
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
10:54 pm
Saturday, April 11th, 2009
6:07 pm
Oldie but still cute and relatively relevant
What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

“Its gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by some chick.”
Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
6:39 pm
The wife goes out and leaves hubby to tend to the baby. When she comes back the place smells like crap. She yells at hubby: "Why didn't you change the baby? He has a full load in his diaper."

Hubby: "No, he doesn't. It says right here on the diaper box, 'Up to 20 lbs'".
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
9:37 am
Why do leprechauns laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their nuts.
Thursday, March 19th, 2009
10:09 pm
Dirtiest one I've heard all day
Doc tells man, “You have to stop masturbating.”

Man asks, “Why?”

Doc says, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
Saturday, March 14th, 2009
7:42 pm
Circle jerk jokes
An old-time ship's captain was showing his daughter around the ship. As they passed a cargo hold, the daughter looked down and saw a line of men, each buggering the ass of the guy in front of him. Aghast, she cried, "Daddy, do you allow that sort of thing to go on aboard your ship?

"Harrumph!" and "Certainly not." bellowed the captain. "You there, bend that line around. Give that first man a chance!"

Q. What's the definition of a competitor?

A. The guy who comes in first - and third - in a circle jerk.
Friday, January 23rd, 2009
9:18 am
pubic hairs
Why are pubic hairs curly?

...because if they were straight, we'd all poke our eyes out!
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com